Ranking The Star Fox Series

I love the Star Fox series, I can’t even express in words how much I love this series. I’ve been playing since 1997 nonstop, and hopefully we get a new entry in the series sooner rather than later. But for now I’m in the mood to reflect and rank the series and reexamine my opinion on the games and series in general.

8. Star Fox Command

Yeah let’s get this out of the way, this game is trash lol. This is really the only Star Fox game I dislike in general, the other games have some things I don’t like, but Star Fox Command really is the embodiment of the worst things Star Fox has done and put them into one game. From the beginning, the artsyle is not appealing to look at, having to use the stylus to control your ship is borderline unplayable, having every stage be in all range mode is boring and monotonous, and we can’t forget the non canon story with 9 endings that feels like it takes forever to do. Honestly the only good things about this game is the music, playing as different characters, and some of the endings are hilarious. Avoid this at all costs.

7. Star Fox 2

I’m honestly fascinated with Star Fox 2, it’s not this low because it’s bad (It’s not a bad game at all), it’s here because of the history surrounding it and how it was one of Nintendo’s lost relics. I look at it like a historian discovering a brand new artifact that was once considered lost to the sands of time. So much of what defines Star Fox came from this game, all range mode, charge shots, Star Wolf, the walker, a map of the Lylat System, so much of the series’s identity is owed to this game. Plus the game runs so much better than the original which is a plus.

6. Star Fox Adventures

Easily the most infamous game of the series, I can’t even begin to count how many times this game has been mocked, insulted, ridiculed, and just outright laughed at. While it doesn’t deserve all of it, it definitely deserves a good chunk of criticism. For anyone who doesn’t know the story by now, Rare was developing Dinosaur Planet when Shigeru Miyamoto looked at it and saw the main character looked like Fox McCloud and went “Let’s make it a Star Fox game.”, and the result is a Star Fox game that’s more like a hand me down Zelda game. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad game, and I have to be in a certain mood to play it, but it’s not a Star Fox game in the way we know it. Either play it to make fun of it, or out of genuine curiosity is completely up to you.

5. Star Fox

The original that started it all, despite how much it chokes on the frame rate I still find myself feeling pretty positive about the game overall. Having the three branching paths gives some nice replayability that would be a staple in the future, and the music does kick some ass, even though it’s not my favorite soundtrack in the series. That being said, a couple of bosses are a pain in the ass, and the game can be hard to follow at times due to the frame rate. But overall I think despite that the game still holds up well, it’s just that there are better games that surpass it.

4. Star Fox Assault

I think this might be the most divisive game in the series, either people love it or hate it. I think this is a fantastic Star Fox game overall, a good progression of the series, something I hope the next game does. The multiplayer is the best of the series, not surprising with the amount of ships, weapons, characters, and maps you have access to. It really did help that this came out when Halo was beginning to peak so giving a series like Star Fox this benefited the game greatly. Assault also has what I consider the best soundtrack in the series without question, it’s just so damn good. The only bad things I have to say about the game is that the on foot missions suck, the landmaster controls like crap, and the linear story mode is alright. But the negatives don’t outweigh the positives, this is a great entry in the series and is a must play if you’re a Star Fox fan.

3. Star Fox Zero

I will die on the hill that not only is this a good game, it’s one of the best games in the series. I think the biggest problem this game has outside of the game itself, it was doomed because it was on the Wii-U, which was a sinking ship by the time this game came out. As for the game itself, repeating the same storyline from 64 and the gamepad controls were the main reasons why so many turned away from this game. Oh and the gyrowing but I completely forgot about it. But hot damn does this game do so many things right, the banter between characters, music is just right, the controls are really good, and the overall action kicks ass. But to me the best part of the game is having actual modes to play, the main game, arcade mode to test your skills, training mode to get a feel for the game, and online mode to play with friends. Going forward I want Star Fox to expand on these modes and go even further to give us the best Star Fox experience.

2. Star Fox 64 3D

Originally I was planning to put this alongside the original game, but I figured I have plenty to say about this remake. First of all, the remake is fantastic, the graphic glow up is amazing, plays the same, and the soundtrack is still awesome. I will say the option to choose a stage and save your game gives this version of the game points in its favor. The only reason why this isn’t at the top is because I’d prefer to play with a controller than a 3DS.

1. Star Fox 64

Like come on, what else could it be? The uncontested gold standard of the series, considered to be one of the greatest games of all time, the magnum opus of rail shooters. No other game comes as close to perfection as this one and the game to introduce the Rumble Pak that would become a mainstay feature in gaming in general. Even the worst parts of the game in Aquas is still pretty good, the action is immaculate, the voice acting is legendary, having 25 different routes gives it the best replayability in the series. Why are you still reading this? Go and play this game now!

Spider-Man and the Status Quo Problem

Status Quo: The existing state of affairs. How often do we hear in real life or in fiction the words “Maintaining the Status Quo”? In fiction we see this as the way to keep a series the way it is, whether it’s video games, comics, movies, cartoons, etc. I’ve seen this used in many comics and cartoons, especially episodic adventure cartoons, where no matter how wacky hi jinks the characters get into, they will find a solution that ends up maintaining the status quo, no matter how stupid it is. While nowadays we have shows that have more progressive storytelling we still get those that are episodic from time to time.

But maintaining the status quo is not always a good thing, and today I want to talk about the most famous superhero that is currently suffering the most from this: The Amazing Spider-Man.

Once upon a time, Peter Parker was a normal teenage boy who got bitten by a radioactive spider, got powers and became Spider-Man, and has gone on to have many adventures in the Marvel universe. As the comics progressed Peter grew up and graduated from college, and eventually got married to Mary Jane Watson. So with that and Peter having all his adventures, one would think Marvel would let their most famous superhero be happy right?

This is where Marvel suddenly went “We will make it our life’s goal to make Peter Parker’s life as miserable as possible!”

Listen, I don’t know what goes on in the heads of the people writing comics or execs at Marvel, but what I do know is that someone decided to “Maintain the Status Quo”, which apparently means to undo all the progress Peter has had for decades. I’m sure most people know what One More Day is by now, but if you don’t then basically the infamous story involves Peter and MJ selling their marriage to the devil, undoing decades of character progression to save Aunt May, who’s very old at this point, and was probably gonna die soon anyway.

You can see why this was a very stupid thing to do, and since then Marvel has done everything possible to not only revert Peter to a man-child, but will go out of their way to ruin Peter’s life and make sure he never gets with MJ. don’t even get me started with the bullshit with fucking Paul and that trainwreck of a self-insert.

So with all of this I just have to ask, why? Why Peter? And why make arguably the most popular comic book superhero of all time suffer so damn much? What’s the freaking point of it all?! The “Status Quo” argument is just a bullshit argument, and we know this because so many other popular characters have grown and not be held back by the status quo.

This whole thing makes less sense when we have other fictional characters progressing and living happy lives. Superman is happily married and has a kid, Batman has his Bat-Family that he’s made, Sailor Moon ends up getting married with a child soon to be born by the end of her manga, for God’s sake, not only is Goku married, he’s a grandfather now! Some of the most famous and iconic superheroes today can progress their lives, but Peter for some bullshit reason can’t?!

Someone at Marvel needs to do something soon, because everyone hates the shit Marvel is putting Peter through for no reason other than to just watch him suffer, especially when he’s treated better in everything that isn’t 616. Because I refuse to have some stupid self insert (Which I find funny because Sailor Moon is a self insert character and she turned out well) be another cog in the Ruin Peter’s Life Machine. Spider-Man is one of the most iconic superheroes in fiction and deserves to have his character and story progress, not be the eternal punching bag for Marvel.